Chapter 29: Lord ,Lift Me Out of My Past

Lety i think you planned for me to get this chapter on purpose lol. This is so funny because this week i have been really working on my self and getting over my fears and how my past has hindered me in so many ways .This is not a proud moment but in the midst of working in Chicago and school in Michigan ( three hours apart) i haven't been to church since new years eve. But thank God , i found a job in Michigan and finally got an apartment here. This last weekend was one of the first weekends i have ever been in Lansing  without any distraction from work, school or family so i decided to step out to visit the town with one of my Sorority sisters who took me to a housewarming. At the house warming one of my frat brothers came to me and asked me what my religion was an i told him i was a christian. Usually i have a mean and intimidating face on that guys do not even come close lol. So i looked up and smiled and asked why he replied  i will like to invite you to church and to breakfast after, honestly i taught it was very creepy but i said sure because i haven't been to church in a while (and hello free food) lol. On Sunday i went to church  and the pastors word was about returning to your past . I sat in the pews and  i said to my self " what the frenchtoast is this brother talking about" why would you go back to a past that makes you weep or makes you feel horrible?  So i sat back and tried to see where  he was going with this.Honestly i almost got up and left  and said in my head was this is bull crap. Why would God want you to suffer? i had all these taught running through my head .But i stayed strong and sat back to listen to him.Ladies this is one of the most powerful word i have ever heard in my whole life. IT GOT REAL.  He quoted his scripture from Genesis 16:7-16. My sisters  "YOUR PAIN DO NOT CHANGE GOD'S PLANS. i do not even know how to express my self now i wish each one of us was there to hear this man preach. I know day by day we always say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger an  and we need to move on from our past and think about the future but can you believe sometimes God put us through our hard times and horrible past?  often times i screamed i cried i wept and asked why me lord ? i have been nothing but good to you and kind to everyone else. God has a purpose for each one of us and past or unpleasant experiences draws us nearer and nearer to him.Sometimes he has t o break you down to bring you back up and make you stronger.

 My heart has been heavy for sometime and i have slightly turn from a very nice sweet person to almost vague and very mean lately.  I have let my past whether it being my dad dying on my 12th birthday, my heart being broken so many times, people i called friends walking all over me and my step fathers death three weeks  just to name a few ,had the best of me. I have lost hope in so many things and my trust level has just been the worst. I can keep going and going but after that sermon i went straight to the alter and requested a prayer for a sense of direction in life and change my perspective of life after the sermon.And i will like each one of you to remind me in your prayers to help me with in this journey.

I will like to conclude my blog post with something Stormie stated in this chapter. She stated that if we live with our past it reflects on us. Its true because i have always had negative energy, i was always tired , i was  always on defense mood ready to attack and i just looked angry all the time  i was sick  my pressure was high, i lost all the weight  and even got diagnosed with insomnia . It was horrible that sometimes when i fell asleep my heart will beat and i will wake up and cry for no reason. I asked my frat brother later why he invited me to church and he told  me because i look like i am going through things and i probably taught he was trying to hit on me but that was not the case, he  just knew what the tittle of the sermon so he was glad i woke up (well he called me fifty times) to come to church and did not leave or hold back to seek a for help from GOD.

I thank God for the positive people around my life now, the advice the support, the encouragement to do good because i probably would have been suicidal by now.Just a word of advice everything happens for a reason and all our mishaps and pain gets us closer to him because when one door close many others open and if you do not think no doors are opening be patient because he has a big plan for you. There is no shallow way in life you have to go trough the narrow path.

i will like to end my blog by posing this question to you all. is it worth it to revisit your past to seek closure or work things out ? How do you know Gods wants you to purse that type of past ?


Love you all and i love deeper levelZ , Lety in the midst of your busy life i really appreciate you keeping your grind and making this book club work. It was rocky at the beginning but it turned out great. i want to thank everyone for pushing each other being accountable for each other whether it being sending reminders to post or even giving advice or commenting or calling to check other and being very open and honest.

Lord, Change Me in the Likeness of Christ

I could have never guessed where she was going with her introductory story .. funny, yet so true, of how many times we still choose our flesh will to be done instead of His!
I think the "Lord, change me prayer" is indeed frightening, if not the reason behind people staying away from God, in fear of being asked to give up things that they might not be ready to give up. I do not think that anyone is ever ready, yet still able to give up whatever is required (Matt 19:26).

Being more like Christ has been in my prayers lately (to be able to reflect God for people around me to know that He is real, to be able to do His will, for His desires to become min) but just not in details like Stormie puts it. The way I feel might be lacking the most out of the seven in my walk with Christ would be obedience (although i know that obedienceis greater  than sacrifice itself (1Sam15:22). I'd say it is mostly due to the inability to being sensitive to God's voice, the inability to discern between His will and mine.  Please keep me in mind for your prayers, I want to be able to be fully obedient!
Which do you feel you need to work on the most? I shall keep you in my prayers

BeBlessed!

Chapter 27: Lord, Transform Me into a Woman of Mountain-Moving Faith

Hebrews 11:6 says without faith, it's impossible to please the Lord.  That's just how much God wants us to trust Him and faith in Him.  I think this section on faith was perfectly placed right after the chapter on the words that we speak. The bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).  I love the story of the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4:8-37.  I believe that it was her faith in action that made is such that when people asked her if there was a problem (v23, v26), her response was "it is well".  I believe that an impediment to walking by faith can be the Martha spirit of "I got it under control" instead of relying on Christ.  Just like we believe God for money, good grades, etc... He wants us to have faith about a wayward loved one, faith about a change in our hearts, etc!

What are some things that you're in faith for (that you don't mind sharing)?

Lord train me to speak only words that bring life "chapter 26"

I believe that the tongue is very powerful, it can either bless or curse. The way I think of it is by looking at our parents (specially us Africans) whenever they say something to us and we don't listen to it most of the times it comes to pass because, not just because they are our parents but also because they our gods on earth and the ground we step on we can curse it. When I read this chapter I felt like Stormie was talking to me because I know how my mouth can be disastrous at times.  I have a friend who always tells me that whenever I get mad I should never speak I should always make sure my mouth is shut because I have no mercy upon anyone when I am mad. Which is true, I don't like getting mad, I barely get mad but when I do I spit fire. Its funny because right before I read the chapter I was suppose to be travelling and I missed my train of course I was mad and given that the guy I was talking to at the reception completely ignored me when I was talking to him made me even more mad. So I left and went to the next window and the lady was even worse she was rude and talking to me any how. In my mind I kept telling myself just keep quite, don't say a word even if they annoy you. I know the lady knew I was mad but I was trying to keep myself calm and at some point she was even laughing. So I decided to just change the tickets and leave. when I got in the train I opened the chapter and that's what it was talking about taming our mouths, in a way I was like wow God has ways to talk to us. Usually I would just give that lady the same treatment and be rude to her as well but instead I didn't. This chapter made me understand that our mouth was not made to speak against but made to speak for or with love. One the verses that Stormie discusses is actually a verse that I really like Matthew 12:34, which I always tell people that whatever you say to me whether you are joking or not it means that your heart feels that , and that is why your mouth has spoken about.  It was by words that  God himself was able to  establish the world. The bible says that he said let there be light and there was light. The bible also tells us I believe in Matthews that he has given us power that if we speak to mountain to move the mountain shall move. Therefore my sister I believe that we can make better use of this treasure that God has given us, put it to better use, says words of blessings and see the difference. One thing that really touched my heart was when Stormie prayed that God reveals to her all the sins that she didn't remember ever doing to people. I realized that it's something that I want to do, because as humans we are bound to step on each others toes but we never know how the other person truly feels and if God reveals it to us and we find the person and we ask for forgiveness I think it will be the best thing that can happen in our Godly journey. A woman with wisdom always speaks less. I've been learning about this in my church and it's so true because the more you talk the more doors you open for people to judge you. If you think about very intelligent people always speak the least and listen more. SO FROM NOW ON FORWARD I PRAY THAT MY MOUTH WILL BE PUT TO BETTER USE. I SHALL SPEAK NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS, I WILL SAY WORDS THAT WILL BRING LIFE, LOVE, AND BLESSING AND I WILL BE A LISTENER AND NOT A TALKER.

BE BLESSED....