Have you ever had a moment in church where you felt like the pastor's sermon was about you??? Or went to watch a movie and it sort of resembled what you were going through in your life? Wow that's how I felt within a few paragraphs in this book. I will start by saying this walk with God and this relationship I am trying to build with him has not been and IS STILL NOT an easy walk! but with his help I will grow to be what he wants me to be! It's crazy because I've been feeling guilty about not giving enough effort in this walk. As if everything else is so important, I guess at first I felt as though God should understand I just finally landed a job he has to understand how busy I am and how tired I am. Selfish huh???
.
Discipline
This is an area that is the toughest for me not only with the religious aspect but in my overall life! I guess I am better at coming up with excuses and reasons as to why I don't do certain stuff like I'm supposed to. Such as one Reading the bible: I stopped reading my bible after it broke apart and pages ripped, to me it was better knowing I had an excuse to not read it and God should know my heart bc he should know that if I had the money and time I would go get it! WOW huh? Another thing I would say that has been difficult especially lately is the fast that my church is doing! to anyone who knows me KNOWS I love food more than anything and holding out to eat ONCE at 4pm everyday has been tough for me! On Monday I succumbed by 12 and I'm telling you I started to binge, eating anything and everything I could. In my mind I said Oh well! I've already failed God because I couldn't even discipline myself enough to hold out and not eat so much! Let me tell you as a side note though that the DEVIL IS A LIARRRR! He tried to whisper in my ears telling to just give up because I had already failed, THANK GOD when I went to church, a reverend spoke on the devil making you feel like all hope is lost as soon as you've done something wrong! she said in fact the devil is a liar and when you've done wrong humilie toi (french words) and ask for forgiveness! Tuesday I went back to fasting and asked God to keep me strong and he surely did!
But I really want to learn to be disciplined in my walk with God to wake up each morning and night having time to speak to my heavenly father, to read his word daily and to just live a pure life. I long for ppl to see God in me! One thing about me is I'm a gossiper and I love a good gossip and most times I made ppl laugh at other peoples expense. This is something I prayed to God FIRST to ask for forgiveness and the second to help me REFRAIN from making fun of ppl and having verbal diarrhea.I feel as if God has such GREAT plans for me but he needs me to be disciplined before he can reveal these plans and so I have to work REALLY HARD!
The bible says obedience is far worth more than sacrifice 1 Samuel 15:22. I dont know about you guys but I need to work on being more obedient. Its not that im hard headed I guess to me I have so many emotions because I know with obeying him I have to let go of certain habits, attitudes, character traits and even FRIENDS that Ive grown accustomed to. But like I tell him let your will be done in my life! It will be tough but I will get through it because I was called to be a light for my family, friends, and the people around the world!
The reverend yesterday kept on repeating that God has his BEST intentions for you! that really stuck to me because whenever things go so wrong and I get so mad and I even get mad at God I really forget that he is NEVER TRYING TO HURT ME! he is the only one who has TRUE,HONEST, and BEST intentions for me! I think this ties into the PERSONAL OBEDIENCE section because there will be times when he will want me to do something I really don't want to do and I hope with all my heart I will let his will be done! I just have to remember HE HAS THE BEST INTENTIONS FOR ME!
in the section of 10 good reasons to obey God
I was like WOW COOL PERKS! Not only will our prayers be heard but we also have in him A true friend one who is ALWAYS patient, one who will always be there when I call him, he wont need to put me on hold on the other line, I wont need to worry that I'm bothering me, One who will never get sick of my voice! Now that's a good friend cuz I know even my boyfriend gets sick of me at times lol! I sure wouldn't mind that wisdom shoot I'm trying to go far in life and to get wisdom from God is better than Oprah! The list goes on with the great things that await me when I obey him, NOBODY TOLD ME the road would be easy but I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me!
For the first time in years I feel so close to God like never before and I will sacrifice and work hard to develop my relationship with him and I'm so glad I have ppl like you around me who are on the same path of righteousness as me!
SORRY SO LONG I would keep going but I don't want y'all to start sleeping!
GOD BLESS!
Amen!!! Praise God. And I'm right with you... my prayer is that God helps me to STOP MAKING EXCUSES!! I'm so good at starting something... I just need to continue!! And I've had the "I'm so busy" excuse, but it's just an excuse. Because I still have time for facebook... I still have time for JY, etc. I pray God helps us all to be obedient women
ReplyDeleteChrystelle,
ReplyDeleteI commend you for your transparency,its a great way for each of us to realize, learn from and find ways to fix our mistakes/faults. You're totally right, Im extremely thankful to have women like you all surrounding and supporting me through my walk with God, it makes it alot more fun to discuss and know that there is someone else with the same exact interests. Love you all xo
YES Chystelle I Iike your post. Excuses is one thing I always had with reading my bible as well but I downloaded an app on my phone that gives me a chapter or verse daily. I am drawing nearer and nearer to God and I have seen doors and opportunities open for me. God is good my sister and I am glad to have you all around to motivate me. Love you all
ReplyDeleteI really liked those perks too Chrystelle !
ReplyDeleteOut of the ten, I would say "we have peace/live safely" are those that I have really been noticing within myself. As most of you guys know, I am afraid of anything !! Like I can't watch scary movies, sleep alone, drive at night past a certain hour, look at deceased person's picture, etc... Also, all the killing/murdering going around, the shooting were definitely not helping my situation. With the prayers, the fasting, reading this book, reading psalm (Ps 3:5 and Ps 4:8), and just dwelling in his presence has helped me soooo much ! I am still not watching scary movies tho, but I sleep peacefully, things going on in the world or around do not scare me as much anymore, for I know that He is with me, as a result of my obedience, and I know that I will never be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
<3